Too much fights will kill you.

Twitter is a social media, but i cant force all my followers to read and being moody as i am now. So blogging is the only way that left.

I am gonna start with telling you a 4 years love story.

Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl met in the bus for couple of times and fell in love. They really love each other very much. The years passed with normal routines as lovers ; loving, caring, fighting, jealousy and laughters,and the rest is maybe filled with happiness and the bittersweet.

Just like another love story, rocky ways came along. And both of them tried to work it out. Most of the times, they solve the problems by fighting. They often feel tired, but in the end they kept coming back for each other, because they forgot the problems and  because they love each other very much. 

Until one day, both of them realized, that problems are real and always comes to be solved.

And that day is yesterday, the time that they both decided to separate for good, and promised to still love each other, not in a relationship but in another form.

The girl is me and the boy is my man. Today, i feel so breakdown and helpless. I never think to take everysingle steps without him. He is not only my boyfriend, but also bestfriend to me. We thru every single steps in four years, together. Never missed a day without saying "  i love u" in the end of our phonecalls or messages. Yes, that we are not a couple anymore, but i can still meet him and get together sometimes. But, the idea that i have to burry my dreams with him, is thing i can't take. And realizing that 4 years brings me to (another) ending and broken hearted moments. He said that we can be together again (maybe if we're meant to be) but i always think that separation will separate you no matter what.

Some of my friends tell me to forget him, like i forget the other ex. But, this is not the same. We built objective and i want to achieve it with him. It's not another relationship, like, an easy or fast track, that when u feel no more chemistry then u left. It is not that kind of relationship. We both try to hold on and it kills me when the bestest thing to do is to separate, because now this relationship is too much of hurting each other in the end. We are not growing. We love each other, we dont want to separate, but we did the opposites. It's sad to know.

I always hope that God will let me and him meant for each others. And keep on wishing, that it is just a phase that we both gonna go thru. By the way, today is supposed to be my 4 years and 3 months anniversary with him. It was, but now no more. No more. I'd better not to think abt it anymore.