Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Rasanya lama betul ..

Minggu ini rasanya berjalan lambat banget .. mungkin karena saya menunggu THR. Susah memang kalau jadi budak korporasi yang ketergantungan dengan gaji. #sekian

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Wander

There comes a day when you just want to cuddle in your blanket and refuse to do some activities. When you just want to listen to your comfort songs and reminiscing the day you were young and all these (not all, tho) responsibilities is a million miles away.

And, that's the day even when your coffee needs coffee.

Being left in wander, and insecurities isn't quite a good mix.And i don't feel okay with that.

Well, wise man said, this too, shall pass.

Monday, May 23, 2016

lemme pause..

Sometimes, during the day (or mostly) i love imagine being in someone else's life. And, it's suddenly re-energize me. Weird. But i enjoyed it anyway.

#random

Friday, March 11, 2016

Penting gak Penting!

Nah, karena sekarang gw udah gak half day friday lagi (walaupun tetap masih di perusahaan yang sama - cuma jam kerja aja yang berubah) mari kita produktif 15 menit (browsing dan update blog) saja di sela-sela kesibukan yang mendera. Cieee gw #apasik

Sebenernya topik ini sudah lama ingin gw tuangkan di dalam blog gw yang isinya lebih mirip diary pribadi dan mungkin kurang menginspirasi. Yaudahlahya. 

Jadi gini, sebagai manusia yang beradab, kita kan harus bekerja, bersosialisasi, dan melakukan kegiatan layaknya manusia lain kan yaa. Nah pernah gak lo menemukan spesies manusia yang (menurut lo) nyebelin banget, dan lo sampe gak percaya manusia ini eksis di muka bumi ini? atau, menemukan manusia yang gak nyebelin banget, tapi tetep aja lo males ada di deket dia, simply because he/she is annoying. Gw sih pernah. Sering malah. Dulu waktu gw belom punya anak, biasanya gw mencaci maki orang kayak gitu entah langsung atau dalam hati. Misalnya; dia nyelak antrian, terus gw berantem sama tuh orang. Atau orang itu taking credit atas kerjaan gw, jadinya gw ngomel-ngomel gak jelas. Tapiii .. semenjak gw punya anak. Jujur gw jadi kasian sama orang-orang yang gak punya manner atau orang yang nyebelin kayak gitu (dengan banyak contoh kasus yang gak mungkin gw sebutkan satu-satu).

Loh terus apa hubungannya dengan udah punya anak cobaaaa? Menurut gw (lagi-lagi opini pribadi, ya iyalah ini kan blog gw). Gw suka tiba-tiba kepikiran, gimana kalau ternyata anak gw yang kayak gitu? gimana kalau ternyata anak gw yang disebelin sama banyak orang kayak gitu? Gimana kalau gw ternyata udah mengajarkan anak gw kebenaran, tapi ternyata dia tetep annoying di society? :( Atau dia dikucilkan, gak diajak ngomong, ih kasian banget kan ... dan gw percaya karma (or sort of things like that), jadi what i do is akhirnya gw ngediemin, atau gw ajak ngomong aja, let's talk and get things right sebisa mungkin, atau melakukan anything yang meluruskan dibanding marah-marah atau gimana. Jadi sekarang, jujur gw agak suka "memilih-milih" dan mikir kalau mau kesel sama orang, karena cuma takut kalau di masa depan (amit-amit) anak-anak gw juga digituin orang lain. 

Emang bener ya, pas udah jadi orang tua, bakal bikin kita (atau cuma gw doang?) banyak mikir untuk hal-hal yang bahkan sebelum ini, gak pernah terlintas di pikiran gw. Asli deh. Sumpah ini gak penting banget tapi asli bikin kepikiran. 

Monday, February 22, 2016

Motherhood is (trully) a battlefield

Did i post this before?

No ba bi bu in this post, let's come to make some point.

Walaupun gw terhitung belum lama menjadi seorang ibu (umur Kinanti sekarang 1th 3bln), gw pengen banget cerita soal "masalah" yang gw alami selama menjadi seorang ibu.

Gw pernah denger kalau seorang perempuan itu harusnya empowering alias mendukung alias menguatkan satu sama lain. Walaupun, pada akhirnya, sometimes, we even compete to be the prettiest, the best, the smartest, the most -est, in every thing. Tapi, dalam hal ini (motherhood alias dunia ibu-ibu) semuanya jadi lain.

Langsung aja ya cuss, contoh kasus :

1. Sodara jauh kita nengok saat kita lahiran, dan udah gitu, pertanyaan nya adalah : ASI nya lancar? ASI kan? gak sufor kan? Duh, baru lahir udah pake diapers sekali pake? Itu gendongnya jangan gitu dooong .. bahaya.. sini diajarin, duh maklum ya masih ibu baru.

2. Temen kita nanyain keadaan anak kita, tapi sebenernya intinya pengen ngasitau kalo ajaran dia lebih baik dan ngebandingin keadaan anak kita sama anaknya dia. "anak lo belom jalan? latihan dong - anak gw sih udah bisa"; "loh, makannya masih bubur alus, anak gw sih udah nasi kayak orang dewasa gitu" ; "eh jangan dibiasain ngemil makanan anu lho, nanti kenapa-kenapa lagi"; "kok kayaknya anak lo kurus sih, makannya susah ya?"

3. Soal ibu bekerja vs stay at home mom. Soal sufor vs asi. Soal pospak vs clodi. Lahiran normal vs cesar. And the list goes on .. :(

DOOOOHHH.
Gw paham ini sebenernya maksudnya baik.
Tapi, please, gw rasa ada cara yang lebih baik untuk injecting thoughts about it.
Gw paling stress kalo ada orang-orang yang bersikap begitu sama gw. Sampe pada akhirnya, saking takutnya gw di judge lewat berat badan, kemampuan, atau apapun mengenai anak gw, gw menghindar untuk ketemu dan memilih untuk diem. Karena kalo misalnya dilawan pun ga mungkin kan :(

Dan pada akhirnya, gw seorang ibu anak satu, yang anaknya berat badannya kurang dari 10kg, minum SUFOR dari usia 5.5 bulan, belom bisa jalan di umur 1th 3bln, dan masih makan bubur tim, menyadari bahwa, kalau motherhood itu kejam. Teman atau sodara bisa berubah jadi judges. There's no such thing as empowering other women. Gak ada lagi tempat aman di dunia ini, karena apapun yang lo lakukan akan selalu dijudge terang-terangan. Bahkan mau curhat ama temen pun takut, karena takut dijudge juga Kakk!! :( Takut ngerasa jadi ibu gagal.

Dan akhirnya, google dan grup ibu-ibu menjadi tempat gw cari tau informasi soal makanan & perkembangan anak. Karena kita bisa jadi silent reader tanpa harus takut ketauan soal perkembangan anak kita. Which is actually not supposed to be like that.

In the end, i talked to myself, that i don't wanna be such mother or person. It's as simple as respecting other person with their own choices, because there will always be stories behind that. No no, ini bukan pembenaran atas semua pilihan yang gw lakukan. Tapi memang ada alasan di balik itu semua. I know, judgement won't stop. But, i think, we can start from ourselves to think, that motherhood isn't supposed to be like this. It supposed to be judgement free and literally help other women. So there will be no women who will feel like "ibu gagal" hanya karena soal berat badan anaknya kurang. And in the end, i think we should manage the tone & manner to talk to other women when it comes to motherhood :) 



Thursday, February 11, 2016

Humanizing Human

More human, less robot.

Lemme' update to you, that my maid is leaving me (all of sudden) and it broke my heart totally :( i feel so sad - reminiscing to old days when i had heartbroken moments, those feelings kind of the same. Seriously, no joke. But, as a grown up adolescence, i am just gonna face it like a grown up should be :(

Enough of that.
Just want to share some stories, that actually makes us more human in workplace.
Sometimes, when we work or surrounded by workload, we are very stressed, tensed, and you name it lah. And, sometimes we (or me) forget what it's like to be a human.
We are going mad, being bit snob, and i don't think it's good to be named. And i think, we need to have sometimes (beside lunch break) that makes us realize that working doesn't always have to be very tensed. Just like today, i had conversation with someone, i never chat with, about her lipstick. I admire the colour and i said it directly to her, and it end up like we talked about women has never had enough of make up. Which like totally true. And it makes me happy. And i encourage her to use red lipstick on friday! haha let's see about that.

Sometimes, it takes one or two steps out of the box and being human again.
and i think, i will always remind my self how to be human at work.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

kind (of) tired :(

Lately, i was really tired, and feel like laid back.
But, being not present in office for 2 days, and suddenly today made a comeback, and receiving more or less 50 emails, which was mostly request, make me behaving badly (and, i dont like it honestly).

James Ingram and Michael Bolton might save me from this pretentious mood, hopefully.