Friday, October 21, 2016

Suatu Sore

When you overheard the conversation between two men, and i think it's really rubbish. And i would literally think i need to write this on my blog


Suatu sore di Starbucks Cyber 2 - gedung dimana semua orang akhirnya nyasar, ketika tujuan utama nya adalah Cyber 1 Kuningan Barat

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Letter to Life

Dear Life, 

I wish could stop being what so called "baper" in Indonesian. Having overwhelmingly sensitive feeling. You know, wise man said, when you're easily angered, or being too sentimental means you're off balance with yourself. Well, maybe i am. It's just lately i'm not able to face people with their action, or even tolerate the smallest part of sarcasm and stupidity. I just can't. It's way too hard. I want to be alone.

Actually, i do know my source of problem is not accepting the reality i had right now. Which is everything change at workplace. I want them the way it used to be. But, it's impossible and i can not even change my mindset to accept something, and search happiness from that. And in the other side, i can not quit this job, because i have to pay the bills (that's what adult do) and i have to work for that. 

But, every single day, everything was being grey. Darker. And, i can not face this changes. I dont know how. And, i think i lose my mentality (not that i become crazy and have to be put in assylum) it's just i need a getaway, but then i know it's not a solution. Because it's just way to drift something apart for a while, and soon it will be hitting you again. HARDER. no. i won't take that option.

So every morning, my thought was like can i wake up a little late? Can i have some coffee and wander and do my favorite stuff - like watch TV, you tube channel or even laughing at stupid stuff with my child? or even do not think or rush about anything? You know? i'm tired of this rushing around life. And sometimes i wander, Life. I do wander, does it have to be like this to be successful? is it what it takes when you sign up agreement to be an adult? is it what it's like to be a grown up? Is this why Peterpan doesn't want to grow up? I don't know. I don't.

And the other question is, can i be just like some people who does their favorite stuff and get money from that? Without having to have this overwhelmingly sensitive feeling about almost anything (which are mostly unimportant and rubbish). Is that kind of life exist? I don't know but i wish i can be that one people :) It must have been very happy, tho.

It's not that i'm not thankful for life has given to me right now. It's just i can not face the situation and feeling pressed from all over the sides, and not even knowing what i want from this.

Oh Life. You are bitter sweet. it's just now i'm biting the bitter more than the sweet.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

(di) jebak hujan Rabu malam

Di tengah deraan kerjaan yang lagi super panas bagaikan salah satu menu di dalam restoran cepat saji terkenal di Indonesia, hobi baru gw adalah mengeluh. Mengeluh dan curhat. Dan kemudian mengeluh lagi. Gak positif banget ya? Emang. Bahkan kadang orang-orang di sekitar gw pun ikut mendengarkan keluhan gw ini. Ya, emang sih gw lagi playing victim  di sini. Sebenernya gw pun gak suka keadaan ini dan pengen segera berubah. Dan  menurut pepatah (yang gw gak tau pepatah nya siapa) if you can not change the situation, then change the way you thinking, or how you react to the situation. I'm trying, tho. But, it's kinda hard ya :(  

Lah terooossss, apa hubungannya sama terjebak hujan semalam cobaaa?? Jadi, emang ada hikmahnya Allah menempatkan gw di situasi semalam, karenaaaaa ..... adalah seseorang yang gw kenal cukup dekat, mendengarkan keluhan gw sembari terjebak hujan semalam, dan akhirnya merespon curhatan gw dengan mengatakan hal-hal yang menurut gw agak DALEM. 

Lo harus bersyukur, jangan manja, kapan majunya kalo lo cuma under atasan lo (yang adalah best friend gw - well, part ini gw kurang setuju sih.. karena menurut gw, best friend bisa juga jadi good leader), terus satu lagi adalah this is time for you to grow out of your comfort zone. Well, that last one hit me right in the spot. 

Maybe God put me in this situation so i can grow up and stretch. Sebenernya capek juga sih negatif. Semacam gak berterimakasih dan menyebarkan aura negatif gitu ya. Kok gak capek ya gw begini mulu? Hmmm.. gak janji gw bakal berubah 100% becoming so very possitive people sih, cuma mungkin i need some space away from work (even i know, holiday won't make me feel better, unless i'm thinking otherwise) or find some fine tuning in this situation. I don't know. But, i will try.

From Sunday-Tuesday, i will be leaving for Bali for business trip, but it doesn't feel right because i will be 3 days away from Kinanti, and i don't like it. But Momma have to grow up and be an adult, that's why.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

if i can, i'd love to ..

This past few days, i've learned something, that i wish i could share in a proper words. I'd like to but it's unexplainable.
  • All i know was, patience is virtue. And it's applied in every single thing that you do
  • Don't let society, some people, person who has higher level than you, defines who you are, because i've just felt it couple days ago. And it wasn't a good experience. You are what you do, not what people thinks you are
 Let's see how August rolls. I wish it will be rolled out properly and nice.

Thursday, July 14, 2016


Then .. you are now at the moment, where you know, you no longer have the strength to change something. And, all you have to do is take a deep breath, and see where life going to bring you.

Now, isn't the right time to fight back and demanding on what's not certain. Maybe it's time to just face the reality and let yourself loose for whatever happens.

Just follow the stream, but still, keep swimming.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Cheesy Love Song

These past two days, i've been head over heels with Teza Sumendra (cover) song Hotline Bling by Drake. Since i (accidentally) watch his live performance on Kuningan City last Sunday. My opinion was, it's a better version of Drake, far much better. And i can't stop listening to this song for 2 days non stop. It's lebay but i like it.

It makes your mind & heart dance. And body too, of course :)
Here i attached, if you want to dance too!

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Rasanya lama betul ..

Minggu ini rasanya berjalan lambat banget .. mungkin karena saya menunggu THR. Susah memang kalau jadi budak korporasi yang ketergantungan dengan gaji. #sekian