Monday, December 21, 2015

Diomongin orang

Nih ya!

Bukannya gw sok suci.
Gak lah. Ngomongin orang itu part of my life style.
Salt and pepper to my plain day.
Jujur, ada kenikmatan tersendiri ketika kita ngomongin atau gosipin orang.

Well, biasanya sih, kalau kita gosipin orang, itu ada alesannya.
Kalau gw, biasanya kalau gw gak suka, merasa dipush, pernah dihina (sama orang itu), atau orang itu emang pernah ngomongin gw duluan.

Disini terminologi gosipin gw adalah negatif ya, bukan ngomongin orang yang positif atau soal prestasinya gitu - ha ha ha - kayaknya itu jarang deh.

Nah, tapi gimana, kalau temen deket? temen main? temen baik?
Pernah gak gw ngomongin mereka?
Sejujurnya nih, gw gak pernah ngomongin my own inner circle.
Karena menurut gw "seriusan lo ngomongin temen deket lo sendiri?"
Biasanya sih gw lebih prefer datengin langsung orangnya - misalkan nih ; dia itu suka teledor, dan orang-orang di sekitarnya merasa terganggu dengan sifat dia. Gw akan dateng ke dia dan bilangin "mungkin lo harus lebih ini - biar ini - dan bla bla bla" gitu sih. Gw ga pernah ngomongin dia yang jelek-jelek di belakang. Menurut gw, ngapain juga gw begitu? Kan prinsip utamanya adalah gw temennya dia - kalo emang dia salah, ya gw bantu benerin.

Entah kenapa, gw gak paham dengan orang yang ngomongin inner circle nya sendiri.
Misal, lo temenan berlima, terus di antara berlima itu lo ngomongin temen lo si A,B,C. Aneh banget gak sih? FAKE gitu kalo kata gw mah.
Mending gak usah temenan sekalian - kalo masih nusuk dari belakang. Karena ada yang bilang "true friend stab you in the front" menurut gw itu bener banget. Karena tujuannya bikin lebih baik, bukannya enjoy karena ngomongin temen sendiri.

Dan .. menurut gw jujur sama temen lo atas ketidaknyamanan atau ketidaksukaan lo sama mereka, adalah bentuk kedewasaan.
Karena apa? karena at the very least, lo jujur. Gak ngomongin dia di belakang.
Apalagi, kalo sampe omongan kita diputer balik. Wah! kacau deh. Berarti emang dia niat aja pengen ngomongin kita.
Kayaknya gw kalo nemu orang kayak gitu, gw gak bakal bisa temenan sama dia deh. Soalnya gw susah pura-pura baik sama orang kalau udah gak suka. Egois ya? daripada Fake. Ya gak? :)

Karena sebenernya jadi diri sendiri itu susah. Sebuah tantangan. Gak semua orang nerima. Bahkan kadang kelakuan yang  menurut kita biasa aja, suka jadi bahan omongan buat mereka. Well, you're nobody until you're talked about.

Just remember, true friend stab you in the front. Kalau mereka gak kasih tau kesalahan kita & dan malah ngejelek-jelekkin di belakang, anggep aja, Tuhan lagi kasih tau kalo dia bukan temen yang baik.
Ini cuma personal opini aja - don't take it seriously! :)

Thursday, December 10, 2015

90's kid!

I have somewhat feeling, whenever i listen to "Missing You Now" by Michael Bolton. Especially about the saxofone thingy - played by Kenny G. I feel like flowing back to 90's when i was a kid, and coming with my mom to Golden Truly, Sarinah, or even following my father visited painting exhibition. And, i love that feeling.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Windy Friday

So it supposed to be my half day friday, but instead i stayed at office and have a full day. Okay. Thanks for the applause :)

Then, to accompany the silence since everyone already left, i watched you tube video and i accidentally heard one of the background song is Banks - Waiting Game (remix) and i curiously google that thing. And, wow that music is good, and very perfect for this chill & windy afternoon.
If i analogically went ahead describing the music is like, great coffee, not too sweet but milky in some way. And, i think it's better if we listen to this song while having a cup of coffee, cigs, and a good friend to be with having pointless conversation. Blissful, isn't it ?

I want to share some make up post, but i'm too lazy to take photos of it.

Have a nice weekend, everyone :)

Wednesday, December 2, 2015


Everytime i see someone with unclear intention, all i wanna say is "What do you mean?"

And speaking of #WDYM? is i've just recently heard about Justin Bieber song (since AMA is aired in Indonesia) and i'm curious about it. And .. it turns out to be that song is so girly. I mean, women, girls, is the same. Twisted & sometimes inconsistent. Let me get the picture by quoting the lyric :

Don't know if you're happy, or complaining
Wanna argue all day, making love all night.
You’re overprotective when I’m leaving
Trying to compromise but I can’t win
You wanna make a point but you keep preaching

I dont know. In my opinion, is woman wanted to be understood, but we just wanna make a sign, so man can understand. Not an actual clear statement or words. Funny? Yes, probably. And if the sign is being mistaken for something else, or worse, not even understood, they will go through a very bad storm :) So, this song is for you guys out there!

I link the video if you wanna watch (tho, i think too much conversation in there)

Sunday, November 1, 2015

What do i really want to be

I really want to be a dubber - because voice mimicking is fun and you can have a chance to be anyone.

And next is fashion stylist. Its called putting up your personal taste into works and anyone can see that. Half artist, i think.

The other is, maybe a theatre artist or movie star. Being someone else derrives you apart from stress. Its like you stop being you for some times and you can be you again.
Isnt it fun?

Anyway, i'm writing this in the cab after Sunday works. Please excuse my random thoughts.


Tuesday, August 25, 2015

take a deep breath

all my mantra for the whole week and the other weeks is "the pain you feel today, is the strength you will have tomorrow. all that is.

my neck pain and other pain is killing me. ugh.

Friday, February 6, 2015

Pregnancy and Birth Story


Time flies when i'm having fun with my baby. 
She's almost 3 months now.

Well, i guess that's the happiest moment in my life, besides getting married and graduated from school or college.

In this post, i will share my pregnancy and giving birth story.

So on March 2014, i was pregnant. But in this second pregnancy (in my 1st, i was miscarriage), i tend to be so careful. Well, if i may said, paranoid ( a little bit) because i didn't want anything bad happen in this time. Then at the end of March 2014 (my pregnancy was 4 week old), we decided to move to a closer place from my work place. Like 10 minutes with ojek  and 20-30 minutes with other vehicles (because it was so damn traffic in there). Then, the nausea started to happen. Like people always said it was morning sick. But in fact, i felt like that for like the whole day (if i'm lucky then at the mid of the day it will be gone - but come back at night). I threw up everytime i smell something, Like the smell of my room (wth?), the smell of my own perfume (i had 5 times bought perfume along pregnancy, then give them to someone), and apparently the smell of anything. Happening also when i ride taxi (and i had to ride taxi everywhere - because i'm so freakin scared to take any other public transp), when i'm in the elevator (like when the door opens in every floor - feeling nausea and dizziness ahead). Crazy. Epic. And i can only eat fast food. Like pizza, fried chicken, burgers, ice cream, and you name it. With delivery system, because i'm too dizzy to walk or else.

Then moving on to my 2nd trimester of pregnancy, i felt better. I barely could eat anything. Without any limitation (some kind of revenge, i guess?), except for the food like durian, alcohol drinks, and also cigarette and soda. And also unclear food, like abang-abang food. Nope. Nah.

At the end of my 2nd trimester, i gained weight, Like WEIGHT. 17 kilos in my 6th months of pregnancy. Well, i think it's just like "nah! dont care. I ate for two. Let it be" Then my feet started to swell. Like thousands of bee just stung me. And it's not going back to its normal shape at that time. People always said, like "You ate too much salt" or "hang your feet higher than your body" Well, i did that, then nothing happened :( so everytime people look at my feet, i will be just like "Whatever"
Til i didn't fit in my shoes or sandals anymore, and i started to search sandals or shoes until size 41 (NEVER in  MY WHOLE LIFE). Gaining weight is so crazy. It expanded your foot size too.

So, when i consulted with my 1st obgyn, she said, i am fine. And also my blood pressure was fine. So i felt like, "oh there's nothing to worry about. Really." But, yes i felt somehow dissapointed because my obgyn was the busy one, so she didn't kinda have time, to listen to my question (since i'm a new parent to be) and anything stupid that a new parent to be could've asked. So at the the last trimester, (32 week), i searched another obgyn and hospital, then i met dr. Susanti (whom very nice, calm and ready to answer even your stupidest question). From her, i know, that my chance of having Pre-Eklampsia is very high. Because i have some kind of the sign (foot swelling, and very much weight gain). At the end of my pregnancy, i succesfully raised 26 kilos from 50 kilos (my real weight). That's so horrible. It's okay to raise much at pregnancy, but this is just too much and unhealthy. Well, but doctor said, pre-eklampsia can only be detected when you are about to give birth. Not when in pregnant time.

November 20th, 04.35 AM. I woke up because something kicked me from the inside. Well, i thought it must have been my baby broke the water.  But,when i stood up and turned on the light, i saw blood running through my feet to the floor. Well, i kinda panic (hello, who doesn't?) and woke my husband. And i tried to walk to the bathroom to clean up and called my mom. But, whenever i tried to move, the blood ran harder, so scared. Then somehow, i finally succeed and prepare my self to go the hospital. When i arrived, it was 5.20 AM and the nurse checked me. She said, i was still in the early labor time (pembukaan 1). Then they checked my blood pressure, it was 150/120. No way. Never in my whole life i had high blood pressure. Never. Then nurse asked me to calm down and took a walk downstairs. After 1 hour, the nurse came and checked my blood pressure again, guess what? it's 200/130. Am i about to have stroke or what? God. I feel scared. Then doctor came. Oh my, She said, let's check your urine and do some tests. After 1 hour of waiting, and CTG scan, and else, nurse said, doctor wanted to talk to my husband, while he was away to clean the floor in our house, because it looked like a murdering place. So, the doctor told it herself to me, that i had pre-eklampsia, DANG!
So i had to go for a C-Section Surgery. I was so freaking scared. Never in my whole life, stayed at hospital, get injected for days, or having surgery. I am the type of person, who's scared to injection, syringe, surgery, blood and one of my fear is giving birth (silly, but yes).  

Then at 2 PM, it's all happening. My baby was born on Nov 20th, 2.35 PM via c-section surgery. All i can say is Alhamdulillah to Allah SWT. For the strength, and blessing for having this cute pretty healthy little baby. There you go, my Kinanti Sofia Rakanata now 2.5 months. Already able to smile, and making lots of expressions. How miracles works in wonders of Allah SWT. I think, i accomplished one of my goals in life, fight my fear of giving birth. I made it. 

Until next time, in the next post.